First, in the beginning, negotiators always focus on the relationship, realizing that even if they cannot reach agreement in this specific meeting, there will always be future opportunities. They prepare and plan for a positive environment, how will they manage the conflict, who is in the room and how can they show respect to each person in the meeting.

Common ground is a key behavior that great negotiators know can overcome conflicting issues and build trust into the process. People like to deal with others when they feel they have something in common.

Good negotiators seek to create a positive working climate with the other party. “A critical element in any negotiation – and one that frequently causes the most anxiety – is the quality of the working relationship we have with the other party. A good working relationship enables us to handle our differences efficiently.” (Fisher and Ertel, 1995)

A clear agenda needs to be created including date, time, issues to be covered, etc. as well as the names of all negotiators. This agenda should be created in consultation with the other party. (Fuller, 1991) They want to make sure that everyone has a voice in the meeting who wants one.

Effective negotiators take much more time discussing areas of common interest and the attractiveness of reaching agreement than poorer negotiators. (Pruit and Rubin,)

Secondly, great negotiators always know what they want and are willing to ask for it. They use assertive language that shows clarity and purpose. “Here is what we want…”This is what we are looking for…My suggestion is that we do it like this.”

Effective negotiators state a clear opening need and stick to it until they sense the other party clearly understands it.

And thirdly, great negotiators ask more questions. Researchers tell us that they ask three times more questions than ordinary negotiators.

Good negotiators ask “problem-solving questions” to understand the other’s position and underlying needs (Ury, 1991) and look for possible ways to reach agreement. ” There will almost certainly be some shared interests on which it may be possible to build. There will also almost certainly be features of the conflict where we can satisfy some interest of the other side without causing damage to any significant interest of our own.” (Fisher, Kopelman, Schneider, 1994)

After they ask these questions they display by listening and paraphrasing skills to check understanding. Successful negotiators more frequently paraphrase and check for understanding than the average negotiators. They also ask significantly more questions. (Rackham, 1976)

Follow these 3 tips and not only will you be a better negotiator but you will build your reputation as someone who is great to negotiate with, strong, clear and respectful.

Questions are the foundation of negotiations. Thus, the questions you ask, when you ask them, and the way you ask them, all impact the negotiation. To the degree you ask good questions, those aligned with your goals for the negotiation, the negotiation progresses more easily upon the path of success.

The following are insights into how to use, how to answer, and how to avoid answering questions.

Assumptive Questions:

Assumptive questions give the impression that you may have more insight than you really possess. As an example, “In the past you’ve paid $5,000 for this service, correct?” In this case, you’re asking a subconscious and conscious question. The subconscious assumptive question is, you’ve used this service in the past. The conscious assumptive question is, you paid $5,000 for it. As such, you’re conveying the fact that you may have information about the other negotiator that can benefit you. In this case, observe how he answers the question (i.e. body language) and the words he uses to do so (i.e. para-language – words used to convey his sentiments). Both will give you insight, from which you can determine your next step.

Answering Questions with Questions:

Depending on the skill level of the other negotiator, you can answer his question with a question. By doing so, you gain more insight and information. By gaining more insight, you gain a greater perspective of his intentions. The skill level of your counterpart is important, because this tactic can also be used as a ploy to assess how deeply you’re prepared to lead him. If you’re not cautious, you can think you’re leading him while in reality you’re being led (i.e. disclosing your negotiation style and demeanor),

Emotions and Questions:

Emotions play a pivotal role in negotiations, especially when it comes to question. If you’re perceived as overemphasizing a word, a phrase, your question can project an unintended meaning. Negotiation Tip – People won’t always remember what you said, but they’ll remember the affect your words had on them. Suffice it to say, when asking questions be aware of your chose of words, the emphasis you place on certain words, and the speed and pace at which you speak. All of those factors impact the reception and perception of your questions.

Avoiding Questions:

When questions are posed and the other negotiator does not answer it, take note. The question may be hitting a sensitive spot that he does not wish exposed. If instead of answering the question he says he’d like to talk about another subject, you should note this even more; he’s giving insight through his actions that your question doesn’t have the importance to him as his topic. This could also be a ploy (i.e. in a negotiation, the person asking a question has more control). If you sense he’s avoiding your question because you’ve strayed into a sensitive area, you can pursue, or let it go for the time being. Do what’s appropriate for the timing and direction you’d like to take the negotiation.

There are many factors that lend to the importance of questions in a negotiation. Since questions are the heartbeat of a negotiation, in order to negotiate more effectively ask the appropriate question at the appropriate time. If you couple that with using the questioning tactics above, you’ll have a winning combination for more successful negotiations… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!