Did you know that one of the secret keys to the art of good conversation is actually the art of being a good listener? This also applies to the skill of being a good public speaker – one would need to listen to one’s audience. Now that sounds very strange, but we’ll enlarge on that a little later.
How often do you hear of people being discussed and being labelled as being a bore? Usually this is because they do all the talking and very little listening. Have you, like me, ever been a victim of one of these characters at a meeting or party? I am sure you can relate to a situation where you finish up looking at everyone who passes by, hoping they will rescue you! I had this happen to me recently at a seminar. I had intended to spend some time mixing with other people who have the same interests as me and who I hoped to share some important information with, however I was cornered by one particular person who went on and on and on about their own efforts, their achievements and expertise and I just could not get away.
To be honest I felt that I had missed out big-time, the seminar itself was excellent but the time spent at lunch break etc. would have been very useful for networking and getting to know like minded people, but had just been a waste of time and I was more than a little irritated.
If you enjoy good conversation then you have probably learnt the art of listening as well as speaking. Have you ever used the expression, “It has been nice talking to you”? Would it not be more appropriate to be able to say, “It has been good talking with you”? There is a difference…
When you think about it, when you are speaking with someone, you are hoping to impart some of your thoughts or ideas to them, or perhaps learn something from them. If you do not take time to allow them to make a comment or ask a question or even indicate whether they have understood what you are saying, then what is the point of continuing to say things which they don’t really need or want to hear? In order to listen you need to learn to pause at the right time and that in itself is a whole new topic!
Now, you may feel that this does not apply to a situation where you are giving a talk or a presentation, because generally speaking the audience is not in a position to answer back to you, or to ask continual questions. So how can you listen to an audience which may consist of just a few people, or maybe even hundreds?
One way that we can employ the art of listening is by using it even before we actually give a presentation. Take the opportunity to speak to the chairman or the organiser of the event to make sure that you will be delivering just what they have organised or perhaps even advertised. In fact you should, as part of your preparation, have spoken to the organiser in depth when the presentation was being booked in order to prepare your talk with that specific audience in mind. Ask them what they are expecting to gain from your presentation and note the answer. In fact take the time to prepare a list of questions which will explore the nature of your expected audience, their age group, ethnicity, education and background – and listen carefully to the answers, they will prepare you for the next step which is:
Endeavour to take the time to speak with several members of your audience before you give the presentation, this will give you the opportunity to size up your audience and discover what they as individuals are expecting to gain from listening to your talk. From their comments you will learn exactly why they have put themselves out to come to hear you speak. This means of course that you will need to schedule your time to arrive early for your presentation, however you will find it time well spent.
Equally, don’t be in a hurry to leave after your presentation, be prepared to associate with your audience and listen to their comments and take them on board to improve your next talk.
In another article we’ll explore the technique of listening to an audience while you’re actually making a presentation and will learn just how this tip can improve your presentations no end.