“Just Being Present,” and What That Means – Part 1

We’ve all had it, I’m sure. You’re innocently using the computer and suddenly you get some cryptic computer-jargon message (apparently it’s called a ‘dialogue box,’ but that’s a bit silly considering that we can’t talk with the computer!) saying, “General error, the program needs to close.” What can you say? Apparently it’s some file or script error and re-starting the computer is the way around it.

And the same happens with our brains to a certain extent. We get these ‘scripts’ and ‘programmes’ running that just cause us to terminate what good thinking might be happening at the time. It’s called anxiety and worry and fear. We track off into the past or the future for a moment and then the programme of our effective thinking stalls. Time for technical help perhaps?

The humanist community might call us to become ‘aware,’ so that we can control our thinking on manual mode, just allowing stimulus from our surrounds, and any deliberate, normal cognitive thinking to take place. They would tell us, ‘Just be present,’ and focus on your breathing.

It shouldn’t be that hard should it–to just be present? I tried the technique on the way home from work one evening and I got distracted off ‘being present’ so many times there must be eternal ruts in my mind.

Paul tells Timothy that, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” -2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV).

We’ve all heard the term, ‘Junk in, junk out,’ relating to computers. Well, our minds are the processing unit for what we eventually do in life. We think of junky things, and yes, we then do junky things.

Our thinking is like the car that cruised slowly past me; for a time, that car was plain out of sight. I had to deliberately and purposely check it was still there. For a moment I thought it had vanished. My experience wasn’t based in truth and therefore my mind started to believe something that wasn’t real. But then the car in my blindspot did eventually re-appear.

Our thinking, similarly, has to deal with all sorts of blindspots that prevent us from seeing truth and reality–we will generally only believe what we can see. But, if our thinking is subsumed by a blindspot, we’re making decisions based on bad data. Life is suddenly going from bad to worse, as the false script reinforces the negative quickly down toward the sinkhole syndrome of concern, anxiety, fear, dread, and a myriad of other forms of ‘nothing’ thoughts, which can only be destructive.

We make thousands of incorrect assumptions every day when our thinking is not based in truth. (And to think otherwise takes a whole deal of training, which I’ll get into next article.) Erroneous thinking impacts incredibly badly not only on our decisions, but also on our relationships. At best it’s counterproductive, and at worst, it’s plain destructive.

We learned through the above quote of Paul’s that a sound (and sensible) mind is a gift from God’s Spirit.

So, if God’s gift is a sound mind, where does the junky thinking come from? You guessed it! It’s the Devil in disguise, and he’s messing with us. Why be duped? The Devil might want it that way, but why should we succumb when there’s by far a better way for us and everyone connected with us?

Now, all the ‘Devil talk’ might be putting you off… let’s change the subject. Let’s just get into some “awareness” as purported above.

The advice I read recently made so much sense to me I decided to give it a try, and strangely it works. I think it’s but one technique God gives us to enjoy his gift of a sound mind.

Create Win-Win Negotiations – Make People Want to Negotiate the Deal with You

If you can learn to create win-win negotiations, then you can make people want to negotiate the deal with you. You negotiate the deal by asking questions, uncovering needs, and positioning what you bring to the table as a solution to some of those needs. Whether you’re looking to be a better real estate negotiator or just get a better deal on your next high-end purchase or get some attention at work, this is for you!

Win-win Negotiation Tips

61. Use metaphors to make your point. “I’m sorry but you can’t just give me the car with no engine. I won’t even be able to start it…how am I going to drive it?” Appeal to their sense of fair play/

62. Your silence should make THEM uneasy and leap to fill the silent space….but YOU should take THEIR silence to mean ASSENT. “Great, now that we’re in agreement on…let’s move on to..” If they don’t challenge you on that right then and there, they most likely WON’T. If they don’t it wasn’t important enough of a point for them to need to get it in order to feel a win.

63. “You made the RIGHT decision talking with me today”. People want to be right, tell them they are. This is a great way to create win-win negotiations.

64. Good real estate negotiators learn to use “Subject to buyer’s partner’s approval” in addendums. Who is your partner? Could be your goldfish for all they know. Be honest that you want a buyer’s partner’s approval. They don’t necessarily need to know who it is, as that doesn’t come into their consideration of winning the deal or not.

65. Master the art of comparing values oranges to apples…if you can make them see oranges AS apples…you can get a lot of value for what you offer comparative to what they now think you’re offering, and they’ll be happy with the trade too (because you built so much value). There’s some real Zen-level verbal judo in there for you if you can catch that…

66. Do real-world research into what motivates people to buy/sell/make a decision the most. Offer it to them positioned in with what you bring to the table. They get it, they win.

67. Read Abraham Maslow’s book The Hierarchy of Needs. It’s kind of academic and dry in places but you will not find a better description ANYWHERE of how to establish yourself at the top of the pecking order in any social or business situation.

68. Smile. Winners smile even when they’re losing. They just bite their lip too.

69. Show someone the courtesy of an in person visit ESPECIALLY when they wouldn’t expect it (long distance). It makes an impression that won’t be forgotten. And an impression goes a long way to creating a win-win negotiation.

70. If you’re meeting with someone for the first time, know exactly how to pronounce their name. If you don’t know or can’t find out, when you see it written say “Wow that is a very UNIQUE name…how would I properly pronounce it?”

71. Learn how to use framing and reframing. If you don’t know what this is, you need to reframe your brain; your window to the world is blocked. You can’t give a person a winning scenario while receiving one yourself if you can’t see the world through their eyes as well as your own.

72. You’ve decided you’re going to buy a property. Now work up a. Anticipated costs of various items b. Nature and cost of available financing c. Estimates of income d. A projected timeline indicating when expenses will be incurred and when income will be received…go back and RE-NEGOTIATE when the numbers don’t work, and strive to make the solution work for all parties involved.

73. Drop a dead deal if the deal won’t work (but remember, leave the door open). No negotiation tactics or focus on win-win solutions can save you if there’s nothing to deal.

74. Create the aura of exclusivity. “I’m the only game in town for you.” You can’t create a win-win for them if they go somewhere else to deal.

75. Don’t be misled by the aura of legitimacy. Just because someone is clever enough to put “Standard Contract” across the top of a piece of paper doesn’t mean it’s LEGITIMATELY “standard”. What is “standard” anyway?

Does Your Sales Presentation Have What it Takes?

How well do you present yourself and your company to a prospect? Are you too busy bashing your competition to tell your prospect what YOU have to offer? Stop telling your prospects that you’re the best choice and show them you are with an approach that your competition won’t be able to duplicate! Forget about the competition!

There are two methods of presenting yourself to a prospect:
A. Speak negatively about their current vendor to make your own company look good in comparison.
B. Show off your innovative concepts and solutions to present your company in a new and extraordinary way, without comparing yourself to the competition.

Which option do you think will most likely lead to a sale?

I hope you chose B. For some reason, many salespeople think that speaking negatively about their competition will make themselves look great in comparison. They see their prospect admitting their dissatisfaction with their current vendor and running to you, their new hero, with open arms. In the real world, this doesn’t happen.

Speaking negatively about your prospect’s current supplier will only evoke negative emotions.

This will actually distance you from your prospect and the possibility of making a sale. Consider common questions you may ask your prospect with method A: -Are you paying too much? -Are there hidden charges that you didn’t notice? -Are you getting the type of service that you deserve? All of these questions will produce negative emotions from your prospect. You will make your prospect feel ignorant and misinformed about a decision they made in the past, and make them feel stupid for doing business with their current supplier. What gives you the right to come into their office and start pushing buttons to make them feel this way?

Show that you are different

Basing your entire sales presentation on your competitor’s shortcomings will not only make your prospect feel bad, it will also make you look bad, because the approach is amateurish and lackadaisical. Customers know that it takes creativity and preparation to make an original and valuable presentation. If you want your prospect to think you are different from your competition, then you must bring something new to the table. Don’t ask the same questions and use the same comparison technique that other salespeople use. Find out what makes you different and let that be the driving force behind your presentation. What do you have, other than price and service, to single you out from your competition? Do you have something that will make them more profitable in their business? Do you have a unique concept that your future customers would enjoy hearing about? Of course you do! Now use it! Once you decide what your creative focal point should be, construct your entire presentation around it. Put those negative comments on the back burner and get excited about your creative approach to the sales presentation! Your enthusiasm and preparation will carry you from the initial phone call all the way to the signing of the contract.

Take it to the top

Choosing a presentation that is different from your competition will give you the distinction you will need to set up an appointment with a prospect at the top of an organization. With this attention, you will be in a position to speak with someone from the company who is not bound by existing budget restraints and has the power to make the decisions necessary to award you with business. Without this distinction, you would be stuck speaking with an administrator of the company, who would probably be more concerned with price than fresh business concepts. Their lack of authority and desire to make radical changes will often bring up obstacles that you are most likely used to dealing with. These can include current contracts that have yet to expire, budget restraints, and the lack of gumption to alter the status quo. Those who actually run companies are interested in new concepts that can make their business more profitable and more productive. Coincidentally, these people are the ones with the authority and desire to make changes when they have a compelling reason to do so.

Having a presentation that is positive and focuses on your innovative solutions and ideas will grab the attention of the actual decision maker. By abandoning the old fashioned presentation method of using comparisons, you will mark yourself as a leader in your industry. You will be seen as an expert in your field and will win sales at margins that support the level of service that your customer expects. In this position, you will be practically untouchable by your competition. Your prospects will see that the creativity and preparation of your presentation reflects your business practices. They will assume that you will be just as unique and thorough in their fulfillment and service after the sale. This will separate you from the competition and facilitate a level of trust and loyalty that can’t easily be matched. Because of your presentation, YOU will get the attention of the decision maker, and YOU will get the sale!